As 2019 comes to a close, rather than making New Year’s resolutions that no one keeps…ahem…I thought it would be more productive to reflect on this past year and what lessons it has taught you. Whether this year was one for the books, uneventful, heartbreaking, or a mix of it all, self-introspection is always useful. I am a big believer that whatever we go through, there is wisdom to be gleaned from even the worst experiences.
Have you ever heard the expression, “God/the universe keeps giving you the same lesson until you learn what you are supposed to”? When we don’t learn from it the first or even the second time, spinning our wheels wondering why we keep experiencing the same things can be infuriating. What if we level up and take a bird’s eye view perspective of these patterns for a moment? It’s sort of like watching a close friend make terrible choices in selecting partners. As a friend, you see that person’s worth and that they deserve better, but they continue to subject themselves to poor treatment or disrespect and lower their standards. As an outsider with objectivity, you see what is happening. This is easy to do when you’re not experiencing emotional override, which is what I call it when our emotions highjack our logical thinking ability. Instead of thinking with our heart AND our head, we let our emotions dictate our decisions, usually a recipe for regret. Rarely do we do our best thinking when our emotions are dysregulated and in total control, which explains why other people can look at us and scratch their heads incredulously and wonder, “what were you thinking?!”
So, here are some questions to get you thinking and reflecting on this past year. These are typical questions I might ask a client in session. Their answers/responses typically lead to more questions, which hopefully lead to self-discoveries, epiphanies, and transformations.
What was the hardest thing you experienced this year and what lesson did it teach you?
How much time did you spend alone to renew and recharge your batteries? What did you do to take care of yourself?
Who played a starring role in your life? What qualities do you find appealing in this person? Do they support you and promote personal growth?
What do you value you most? Did you spend your time engaging in activities that reflect these values? If not, what got in the way?
Did you form new relationships? Are the people you brought into your life going to enhance it in some way?
Did you let go of any relationships? Why did you walk away?
Was there a goal you hoped to accomplish by now but haven’t? What do you think is preventing you from reaching your full potential?
What is your mission statement for 2020, a guiding philosophy for how you want to live your life (just one sentence)?
Here, these questions are offered as food for thought. I would love to hear from you though and welcome the opportunity to dialogue with you. Please contact me at 561-213-9803 or jamie@brodarick.com.
Jamie Brodarick, Ph.D., LMFT